Narcissism is a mental disorder that is extremely misunderstood among the general population. Many people that they may be in a relationship with a narcissist, but it can be difficult to point out what makes them this way. Fortunately, most narcissists have a few “tells” that give them away, and they’re easy to spot.
The narcissist’s world is all about good/bad, superior/inferior, and right/wrong. There’s a definite hierarchy with the narcissist— the only place he feels safe is at the top. Narcissists must be the best, and the most competent; they must do all they can; they must own everything; and they must dominate everyone.
Surprisingly enough, by being the worst; the most wrong; or the most sick, angry, or hurt for a period of time, narcissists can also get a superior feeling. Instead they feel entitled to receive calming attention and compensation and even the right to harm you or others.
Narcissists’ desire for everything to be perfect is extremely high. They think they ought to be perfect, you ought to be perfect, events ought to take place exactly as expected, and life ought to play out just as they imagine.
This is an appallingly impossible demand, resulting in the narcissistic feeling unhappy and miserable most of the time. The desire for perfection causes the narcissist to lament and to be unhappy perpetually, which is why some might throw a tantrum when losing a video game or online blackjack Canada.
3. Need for Control
Due to the continuous disappointment of narcissists with the imperfect way life unfolds, they want to do as much as possible to control it and mould it to their liking. They always want to be in command and, and their sense of entitlement makes it seem natural that they should be in charge of it all. Narcissists always have an agenda in mind about what should be said and done by each “character” in their interaction.
They get quite angry and unsettled when you don’t act as planned. They expect you to say and do exactly what they have in mind in order to draw out their desired conclusion. In their internal game, you are a character, not a real person with your own thoughts and feelings.
4. Zero Responsibility
While narcissists want to be in charge, they never want to be responsible for the outcomes— unless, of course, all goes exactly their way and their desired outcome takes place. The narcissist puts all the blame and responsibility on you when things don’t go according to their plan and they feel insulted or less than ideal. It must always be the responsibility of someone else, for them. Sometimes the blame is widespread— all the police, all the employers, all the teachers, all the Democrats, etc.
The narcissist at other times picks a specific person or rule to blame— his wife, the judge, or rules that restrict what he wants to do. Though, most often the narcissist accuses the one individual who is the nearest, most connected, trustworthy, and most caring person in his life— you. Narcissists must always blame someone or something else to preserve the façade of perfection. Because you are less likely to leave or refuse him, you are the right person to blame.